i should take my own advice

reading my last few posts has caused me to reflect and led me to wonder where my optimism has gone. why is it that i'm stressing out? why is it that i'm worrying about the future?

i haven't been fully trusting God in what i do and in everything, which is why this semester has been harder than most. i wish that i had made the change to give every burden that i have to the Lord so that he may carry it for me.

i don't understand what He is doing in my life and i am hurting. deeply. hurting more than i have in a good long time because i am confused, drained and thinking too much. but tonight, amidst the pain that i feel in my heart, God confirmed that i need to be still and let Him be. i always try to solve my own problems and this time, i can't. this time, i want it all, and i cannot have any of it. my heart is heavy but only God can take care of it. i need to use this time to be true to Him and to myself and to serve whole-heartedly and completely focused.

i want to write music. i really want to write my own song. i'm hoping that this hurt can be channeled in that direction and that i can write songs that could inspire people. Lord, use me and my gifts so that i may please you.