Hezekiah

I was recently reminded of this Bible story, found in 2 Kings 18-20, of King Hezekiah, loyal to the Lord, faithful servant and fearless leader of Israel. While he did everything to honor the Lord, he was faced with trials of his own. A foreign king threatens to kill him and to take all of Israel captive because Hezekiah would not bow down to him. The enemy was big and though Hezekiah mourned the news, the first thing he did was cry out to his God. The Lord listened to his prayer and sent his angels to slay the enemy at their own camp, thus driving away the enemy King.

But this isn't the only prayer the Lord answers. As Hezekiah is on his death bed, he asks God to remember him and to let him live--which the Lord does. But Hezekiah is told that there will be suffering and suffering there was. As Hezekiah's son takes over the throne, Israel returns to their ways of idol worshipping and away from God.

We can learn a lot from Hezekiah. For one, prayer is ALWAYS powerful. Hezekiah chose to seek God's help instead of taking matters into his own hands and because of this, God honored him. Hezekiah was faithful to his Lord and the Lord was faithful in return. Imagine, a WHOLE ARMY coming to attack you. This is a big deal. I would've been freaking out, maybe running around and wouldn't be much of a leader. But a good leader is one that bows his head and gives all he has to seek the Lord's guidance. In the midst of it all, Hezekiah prayed. And the Lord heard. So beautiful.

But even then, we must wholly trust our Lord, because ultimately he knows what plans he has for us, as Jeremiah tells us. Who knows what could've happened if Hezekiah let the Lord keep his timing. Sometimes we extend things because we are selfish, obviously because we are human and flesh. We extend jobs, ministries, relationships...even if they are failing, because we are selfish and want comfort. We want the familiar. The future is scary. And most of us are afraid to let go and let God because we are afraid.

If there's something that I learned last year, it's that God has his perfect timing and that we should always listen. There are many "what ifs" in my head right now. But I know that in the end, God even knew I was going to be stubborn and not give up until it hit me in the face and well, it has hit me in the face. And I will solely trust in Him--the God that has never failed me and the God that has ALWAYS loved me.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, because you take me despite all of my fears and failures. You are Mighty to Save, even a wretch as myself. I thank you for your divine plan in my life, and though I don't understand a lot of the motions I'm experiencing, I know that you will be victorious in the end. I give my life to you.

peace out 2009, hello 2010

As the year comes to an end, it is only natural to reflect on what has passed and to wait for the coming year with great expectation. 2009 has surely been a difficult year for many reasons, but the Lord has been faithful in providing, despite my failures. If I could sum up 2009 in one word it would be GRACE. Unmistakable grace. Selfless grace. Saving grace.

This year has been filled with many ups and downs, from the heartache of a breakup, to the heartache of losing a family member. And while there have been many lows, without a doubt, God has provided joy and hope like no other. He has surpassed all expectations and blessed me with more than I could ever imagine. Because of His mighty hand, I can wait on 2010 with hope.

I oftentimes wonder how people can live without knowing God and having a relationship with a Savior. How do they hope? How to they cope? How do they deal with life’s battles? We find ourselves in a constant struggle and I wonder if I would ever get through the day if I didn’t have my hope on my Lord. If my eyes weren’t fixed on the heavens, where would I find my refuge?

Many Bible passages and verses come to mind when I think about what I would like my next year to look like. But when thinking about how I want my life, I am reminded of Isaiah 64:8, that says “Oh Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” I want to be that clay, and I want my Lord to be the potter. I’m a work in progress-- work that truly began last year and it can only get better. With each year that passes, I learn more about my Savior’s love and fall more and more in love with Him.

If there’s one thing that I learned this year, it’s that I cannot place my trust in man. I have been nothing but disappointed. But my Lord is there to pick up the pieces for me. I’ve learned to love my family more than ever. I’ve learned who are my TRUE friends. I am so blessed.

2010 will be a great year. Graduation. Travel. New job. New place. New motivation.

May the Lord continue to bless every single one of my friends and family. 2010 will be a fresh start in Him.

what makes me the happiest

Every Sunday brings a smile to my face because I do what makes me the happiest--play my piano and worship my God. I continually thank the Lord for granting me the gift of music because I am able to express my love for Him in a way that can reach many. Not a single Sunday goes by that I'm not moved to tears by the words that I sing or the prayer that I lift up before my God. He is that powerful. He is worthy. Most of all, today we had a very God-filled worship, and I know it was because I was able to lay it all down in front of God, come before Him as a vulnerable worshipper, ready to be filled with my portion. Worship isn't about coming forth with arrogance or just to sing, but to be willing to listen and to be molded by our Heavenly Father.

I was also happy because I've noticed that a lot of the high school-aged youth at our church come to me to talk and ask for advice and I am able to listen. It only confirms what God's plan is for my life and why I'm going into Teach for America. I'm happy to be able to make a difference, to impact a child's life, to serve as a role model. I only hope that the Lord continues to bless me so that I may be a leader and an example. I thank God for reminding me every day how special I am and how I am an integral part of His ministry. His love keeps me in check and I keep my focus.

I am blessed beyond measure and I know that my God is in control of my life. Since I've been more intentional in my relationship with Him, I have found that I am blessed beyond expectation and that His love surpasses all understanding. I don't know how people survive and deal with life without a Savior. Without a hope. Without TRUE love. Thank you Lord because I am Yours.

perhaps I'm ready to begin writing lyrics again...

motherly advice

i find myself increasingly being disappointed by people. and each time, i just run home into my mother's arms.

i'm so thankful to have such a godly mother and father. they are my inspiration.

she said "God will bless you and you won't even see it coming." so true.

the Lord is my Protector

Yesterday as I went to lunch with my aunt and uncle, I observed a scene that isn’t too far out of the ordinary. The place where we went to eat had a farm adjacent to it, with many hens and little chicks. Near one hen, a mean black cat was drawing near, in striking position, ready to hunt. What was incredible about all of this is how the mother hen reacted. Without needing to hear anything, without needing for the cat to get real close, she stretched out her wings and called her little babies, who ran to her. Under her wing, they were safe, and the cat retreated.

I’m sure we all have read Psalm 91 at some point in our lives, or heard someone say it or maybe we have even heard a sermon. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almight." But in this moment in time, that Psalm rang all too clearly. Imagine, if God gave animals the instinct to care for their children, why would He not do the same for us? The passage tells us that God will "cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge," just as the hen did for her babies.

We are God's children. But only as His children and if we seek his refuge will we be safe. No other person in this world can promise this.

This has never been truer in my life. Every time I trust in someone, I wind up hurt. And it sucks, but I feel as if it's God's way of telling me to wake up and realize that HE is Lord. HE is Sovereign. only HE is our refuge. I'm trying, but there's still so much to learn, so much to give up and so much to receive in return. My Lord has been faithful until now, and he will only continue to do so.

being thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

Though our lives should be filled with thanks regularly, I find it encouraging that this country has set apart a specific day to give thanks. And that's one of the reasons why it bugs me when people wish me a "Happy Turkey Day" because the focus is not the turkey, but rather, how grateful we should be for all the blessings we have. Like Thessalonians says, we should be thankful in everything. And though I've heard this throughout my years as a Christian, I can safely say that I learned the TRUE meaning of these words this year, when God has given but also taken from me.

This year has been rough--physically and emotionally. From dealing with a bad breakup that left me disappointed and broken, God has slowly been molding me and teaching me to rely solely on Him. He never will leave me. He will never break promises. He shows me grace. He is quick to forgive. How could I want anything else? I thought I had all the answers, a certain path down the future and God took it all away. And now, more than ever, I realize that yeah, it was painful, but the beauty of pain is knowing that it will all end and that when it does, you will be a better person than when you began. God has challenged me in school as well. Though the going seems tough, He has provided a way, a truth, and life.

I lost my grandma in August and during the holidays, the pain is greater than ever. Though she is gone, I am thankful for her memory and her love. I know that she is in good hands. I also miss my grandpa so much right now. It hurts to even think about it. He would have loved to see me graduate from college, land a good job and to see all of us grown up. I miss him.

But at the same time, my earthly family is more than I could ask for. They fill me with more love than anyone could ever provide. Because of our losses and because of my breakup, I have a new-found appreciation and love for my parents. They are truly my best friends now. God has surpassed any expectation that I had because I seriously have the best parents in the world.

Like Job tells us, the Lord gives, the Lord takes away, but blessed be the name of the Lord.

He knows what He's doing. And all I can say is thanks.

letting go

i've been stressin' lately. so i took the day off and listened to music, wrote music, played music. all for my Lord. i prayed. read my Bible outside. went to Bible study. and it was probably one of the best days of my life.

to let go, not care about the time and dedicate what I have to God has been the best thing i could've done. thank you, Lord, for letting me live a life of worship in your name.

worry for nothing, pray for everything

a phrase my papa has recently instilled in me. a simple message with a powerful truth. leaving worries behind implies a certain degree of freedom in Christ, who paid it all. numerous times we are told to "cast all our worries on Him" or questioned as to why we fret over tomorrow. and honestly, really thinking about it, there is no reason to worry! in Christ we are secured and we are placed in the best hands that can be!

Philippians 4:4-9 reminds us of this freedom in Christ and of what we should be doing. "Celebrate God all day, every day" says verse 4 in The Message. I love this, because everyday is a new celebration in Christ. the mere fact that we wake up in the morning is a gift from God, not to be taken for granted. we can rejoice in the freedom Christ has provided because as earlier verses in Philippians reassure us, our Lord, who began the good work in us will complete it. What a wonderful promise!

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray!" "It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."Philippians challenges us to stop the worrying and give it up to God. only then can He control our lives instead of our worries, doubts and fears. God must be the King of our lives and he can't reign in us if we don't give him space in our lives. Instead, Paul lists the things we should be thinking about, focusing our thoughts on higher things than earthly worries.

in my personal life, i find that sometimes i make these worries my 'god' instead of letting my real God carry my burdens. in recent weeks i have stressed over many things and my daddy looked at me and just said "worry for nothing, pray for everything." and when the worrying stopped, God provided in many ways. not only are things falling into place, but He has also brought peace to my life.

How wonderful it is to know that I am in the hands of the Almighty :)

love and grace

I have neglected blogging recently and I think a lot of it is out of laziness, but mostly because I have had too much on my mind. my heart has been heavy, my mind has been messed with and everything imaginable has happened to make me lose my focus.

Yet here I am, keeping with the grind, moving forward.

I have nothing less than praise for my Heavenly Father, because He gives me the will to carry on, He still loves me despite my imperfection and I know that He is working in my life.

In this past month, I have realized two very important things that point to one underlying truth. For one, I am being asked to let go of my past, to essentially leave my jar at the well as one friend put it, and leave it to God. I had been clinging to what was, and this was holding me back from what God has planned for me. Secondly, I am learning the true meaning of love, beyond romantic love, but trying to see love from God's eyes. These two epiphanies only point to my future, to the way that God wants to use me--that He be the only focus in my life. My life's goal should be to please Him and no other.

Recently I have been questioning what love is. Everything I see around my leaves me so heartbroken and literally, not a single day passes that I don't fall to my knees and weep because of the pain and suffering I see in this world. It is unbelievable to me that children will purposely try to burn others alive, that a teen would kill his brother without remorse, that in the name of "love," people are driven to acts of violence, that one would go on a shooting spree for being bullied, that children be abandoned by their parents. Everyday I thank the Lord because if not for His love, I would never know what it means. The world cannot teach it to me, nor will they be able to love if they don't know God.

What this world lacks is an understanding of grace. The beauty of God's love is that we don't deserve it and yet, He is faithful. He forgives. He takes us in. He is graceful. And because of this, all I can do is to be thankful and to love in return.

I feel like recently I have been challenged to truly love the world around me. Not just to do the "Christian-like" thing and to do my share of community service and looking good in front of others, but to really love. I've read 1 Corinthians 13 soooo many times, but I finally read this chapter in The Message and felt a renewed challenge. THIS is what love is. THIS is what I must do.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

I have recently accepted a job with Teach for America, a task that I know will be no easy feat. Yet I know that I am being called down this path, to love the less fortunate and bring the light and love of God to those deemed to be "failures" in society. I have read these verses and pledge to make them the essence of my life.

I have been failed in the past. I have been left. Downhearted. Broken. And yet, my Father has picked up the pieces. He is making me whole so I can serve Him. I feel as if this is the time that I am supposed to be truly alone so that I may make Him my focus and I can solely rely on Him. Being as I am a big people person, I know that this is going to be a challenge. But nevertheless, I know that if I don't do this now, then I would be disobedient and straying. My prayer is that I know without a doubt that all I need is my God.

I've been looking through my eyes all too often. I have tried to solve things on my own only to fall short. I have to let go and let God. Worry for nothing, pray for everything. I need to see the world through God's eyes, to stop worrying and cast my doubts on Him, the Almighty. I want Him to break my heart for the things that break His. I want to serve. If not I, then who? I cannot focus on God if other things are taking hold of my heart and mind.

And this shouldn't be a realization exclusive to me, but for everyone. God wants our all, our love, our devotion. Only then will we reach our full potential and be blessed. I don't want to hold back on my God! Imagine if He held out on us, what would we be? In His praise, we should give our all, and let go of the petty things in life so that God entrusts us with greater things for His glory.

I know I've been rambling, but I guess it's a month's worth of thoughts and self-realization.

my desire

All I Need is You--Hillsong

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
Won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Got every reason to be here again
Father's love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is you Lord

One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord

You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord