Pentecost: Enter, Holy Spirit

Today has been a day like no other. It's Pentecost, the day in which God fulfilled his promise to his disciples and sent the Holy Spirit to fill the lives of the believers. It is a day in which sadness, abandonment, fear and anxiety dissipated. The disciples were no longer alone, rather, they had God Himself living within them. Thousands were converted on this day alone, for the glory of the Lord.

The service today was spectacular. I felt the Spirit of God moving in the midst of everything. As I sang, I felt goosebumps, I knew something was there. As my Father preached, I felt compelled to make the Word my own, to make it alive in me. You see, the disciples were able to replace their weaknesses with the strength found in the Lord. All their fears were gone and the Lord used them for something great. I want to be just like this. I know and recognize the Holy Spirit working in me and I know that sure enough, my fears will be gone and in their place, I will have a super-natural strength that only comes from above. What a wonderful promise!

Days like today show me that the Lord is control above all. God's plan is so perfect in our lives. He is so wonderful to us. My strength, my song, my Lord. 

I have placed my life in His hands and I refuse to be a stumbling block for my church. I want to dedicate my life to my Savior so that I can best lead this congregation to find a worship that is pure and true. Worship isn't just a song that we sing on Sundays, but it is a way of life. And my life WILL be one of continual worship. I have seen the difference the past couple of weeks where I have dedicated time and the best of my ability towards putting together the worship repertoire. I see changes in attitudes, I see changes in my aptitude to worship, to pray, to sing. It isn't just a coincidence, it's a change.

I've been feeling a little downcast tonight, mainly because I'm dealing with a heartache that took years to build. But slowly, I know that the Lord is filling that hole in my heart with his own lovingkindness. And you know what, this is a good experience for me because I'm going to learn to depend more on the Lord and to keep on loving. I am so thankful to have loved because it shows that it is possible. And I'm thankful that I still love, because it shows that I am able to forgive and that my heart is open to loving again. Right now, I am seeking my first love, my Lord and Savior, because there is nothing like your first love, is there?

Reading Psalm 135 today made me sit and reflect a bit. The whoooole Psalm talks about how God is in charge of EVERYTHING! In His hands are the earth, the seas, the heavens. All of creation bows to Him. David recognizes God's ultimate plan and how everything falls into place, even when everything seems to fall out of plan. If my God carefully planned everything, then I have nothing to fear. He is in control of my life, which is an easier feat than making all of creation and drafting a plan for our salvation. I am in good hands. Like a good Father, the Lord wants what is best for me and will be there to pick me up when I fall. What a wonderful Lord I serve!

Thanks be to you, God Almighty, for your everlasting glory and grace. I lay my life before you so that you can use me as you please. Deliver me from evil. I'm done searching for any form of alternative to happiness. You are the only path to happiness, to life, to love. Show me how to love you best, so that I may also love others. And create in me a new spirit, mold me to perfection. I am yours.

my first song!

i'm working on the melody and the kinks, but i think this is it :)

well...technically, it's my second song because when i was 8 years old I wrote a song for my mom. haha. but this is my first serious song, meant to be used as part of praise and worship!

Estás ahí

 

Hay veces que siento que no puedo

No hay salida, no hay fin

Alzo mis ojos a los montes

Elevo mi llanto, mi dolor

Te doy mis cargas y mis miedos

En ti soy libre.

 

En mis luchas más fuertes

Estás ahí

En medio de la oscuridad,

Estás ahí

En las tormentas de la vida

Estás ahí, estás ahí

 

Provees en abundancia y gracia

Te alabo, eres mi salvación

Eres mi escudo, mi refugio

Te exalto pues has oído mi canto

En ti pongo mi esperanza

Solo en ti confío.

faithful

Faithful is the Lord. In Him alone do I trust.

The Lord has been with me for ages, and even though I let Him down constantly, He is Mighty to Save, faithful counselor, my Prince of peace. In sitting down and talking to my parents today, I recognize that my future is quite uncertain and many things are up in the air. But despite all that, my parents reminded me that the Lord has been faithful in providing and I have never lacked a thing. I know that He will be even MORE faithful if I decide to be more faithful to Him as well. this is my heart's desire.

in reading a few of the Psalms today, Psalm 130 seemed to most fit this. David says:

Out of the depths I have cried to you, O Lord;

Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications...

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, 

And in His word I do hope.

God hears me and in waiting in Him, I will get my answers. 

but it's hard.

Today, I found pictures, notes, letters that reminded me of past times and I began to get sad and weep over them, wishing for those moments, wanting answers, having conflicting thoughts. But then I had a moment of clarity. I gathered myself and smiled, because at least I have wonderful memories of laughs and trips and friendships, and already that's more than most people. The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Yet He is always faithful to supply what we NEED. Perhaps this is his sign to me that I NEED to find myself in Him, to love HIM, to love myself and then good things will come. The road ahead is long, the ocean is vast, and the possibilities are endless. 

Lord, I lay my life before you. Glorify yourself in me! Use me as your instrument, that I may make a difference in this world. Let no one or anything stifle the love that I have inside and let this love overflow in me!

HOME!

finally made it home after FOREVER on the road

but I thank the Lord that we were fortunate enough to take a vacation as a family. He knew what I needed and when I needed it, and it couldn't have come at a better time.

i don't know why i can't sleep and why i'm still awake because it's 4:30am and i should be beat but i'm not. i just had to write quickly because i downloaded literally 2945873495 CD's. well, more like a good 38 CD's. and i am SOOO excited to listen to them because they are all praise and worship AND i was able to download the David Crowder CD that had gotten ruined. AMAZING. praise the Lord for the many ways to worship him!

longest psalm of them all

i have been on vacation with my family for some time. since i don't have my iPod or my computer with me, i have readily missed my selection of Praise and Worship music, especially the Casting Crowns Pandora station that is always running! last night and tonight, i have especially taken the time to sit down and listen to a few of these songs that have meant so much to me. they are in my head all day long, and i praise God for this, because already i see Him working in my life and filling my daily walk with encouragement and the right thoughts. i feel empty when i am not praising Him! this is all so wonderful :)

the past few days, i have tackled Psalm 119, the longest of the Psalms. There's just so much to say about this passage, but what most struck me about it all is the number of times David mentions "the word of God" or his "statues" or "commandments." essentially, all of these refer to being obedient to the Lord! David tells us of the many things that will result for us if we follow our Lord's word: we have nothing to fear, the Lord will be with us, our enemies will be defeated, we will live blessed. The Lord is good! Only if we follow God will he hear our pleas and deliver us from all evil. this is what we all should live by--by the Word of God, the word of Life and the only truth i know.

i've been sad the past few days, thinking and re-thinking certain things, but i thank God that i have found strength in Him! i see Him all around me and have learned to appreciate little things. I can't wait to see what else he has in store for me

another praise for my Lord is that i got good grades this semester! my undergraduate cumulative GPA is a 3.82 meaning that (Lord-willing) i will be recieving a diploma with honors. i just have to talk to my advisor. the Lord is also great because i have THREE internship options for the summer, all of which could open doors. beginning now, i am placing myself in the hands of myLord with regards to my future and what jobs i could hold. i don't really know what i want to do, but all i know is that i want to make a difference, change this world and fill those who surround me with the love that God grants me. i know that i will succeed if i stay true to the Lord's commandments. i have noticed improvements in my life already and i recognize that God is working in me. He has a plan for me, i know it :)

Came to the Rescue

This is a song that has meant a lot to me today, that has led me to think. In this time of turbulence and confusion in my life,  I need to be silent in worship, listening for God's voice to guide me. I do trust him, I really do. But it is SO much easier said than done. I think that I have made the right decision by cutting certain things out of my life and pledging to move forth. I can't hold on to the past, to a dream that once was, to something that isn't convenient of worth it for me. I feel so overwhelmed at the moment, trapped in a whir of emotions. Today, I said goodbye to my best friend. Yesterday, I said goodbye to someone that was a part of my life, but that was just hurting me more than being beneficial to my life. It was the hardest decision to make, but I know that I won't regret it in the long run.

God has a brilliant plan for my life and I can't inhibit the Lord from working in me, nor shall I let anyone bring me down. Praise be to the Lord, God Almighty, my Savior and my strength. In you alone I place my trust and you alone will never fail me.

Came to the Rescue

Falling on my knees in worship

Giving all I am to seek Your face

Lord all I am is Yours

My whole life I place in Your hands

God of mercy

Humbled I bow down

In your presence, at your throne

I called, you answered

And You came to my rescue

And I want to be where You are

In my life, be lifted high

In our world, be lifted high

In our love, be lifted high

don't hide it

i really have a problem when people put up a front as to who they are. i really don't like when someone tries to lecture another person on being holy and righteous and yet, they themselves don't practice what they preach. if they're against drinking alcohol, they will act like it's ok. it's like the Pharisees in the Bible, where they were so apt to judge other people but not look at themselves. Paul even asks us how we can judge he speck in our neighbor's eye but refuse to take out the stick in our own eye.  it's a lesson i've had to learn but it seems that others are so apt to judging first!

i have also been questioning a lot of things lately, especially friendships. will i have friends next year? i'm quite sad because some people that i counted on care less than i do. i give a friend my all, always so it's hard for me not to receive that in return. i know that i can only count on God but it's always nice to have a shoulder to cry on and a big hug.

i'm just so confused.

thoughts

my friends graduated yesterday, which has left me very sad and feeling downcast. i know that i can't wholly depend on "men" and that the only person i can depend on is GOD, but still, it is hard knowing that your best friends are leaving you soon. i have shared so many memories with these girls, and they're the ones that have been there to see me happy, to see me sad, see me laugh and cry, and laugh so hard that i cry, when i'm stressed, when i haven't slept and still decide to go to the Grove, cooking together, baking cookies, watching movies and staying in, playing apples-to-apples, trying new things, devouring entire pizzas...they've been there for it all. and i'm really going to miss this.

a chapter of my life has closed but a new one will come to fruition soon! i am officially done with undergrad and will start my grad courses next year, graduate and then off to the real world. Dear Lord, you are so good to me. i'm so thankful that i at least do have memories to cherish and friends for a lifetime.

call to worship

this song has brought me to tears the past couple of days. i want to be able to one day know that i can give up anything for my Lord, like he did for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdq9Q8wJdjc

you are my strong tower!

When I wander through the desert
And I'm longing for my home
All my dreams have gone astray
When I'm stranded in the valley
And I'm tired and all alone
It seems like I've lost my way

I go running to your mountain
Where your mercy sets me free

[chorus]
You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek

In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You're my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder's all I hear
You speak softly to my soul

praise

Under my dad's suggestion, I am focusing on reading the Psalms, for there is no greater worship in the Bible than here. The Psalms are filled with praises, with challenges, with God's goodness and they serve as inspiration to any worship leader. my goal, my one desire is to be better at what I do, to really praise God and lead his congregation into worship.

Psalms 111 and 112 are my focus for today. Within these two relatively short chapters, the phrase "His righteousness endures forever" is repeated three times, which tells us to pay attention to it. God's righteousness is eternal! It surpasses any earthly challenge or any enemy. The title of this Psalm is "God cares for his people," which captures the essence of what I read.

It is a Psalm of praise, telling God everything that he has done, that he is beautiful, that he is powerful, he is faithful and he is just. My Lord is perfect. 

Something that really hit home is where the passages say "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding." Wisdom isn't fleeting nor is it a piece of cake. I have to be faithful and true to his word to be wise, as the passage yesterday also highlighted.

All these passages are pointing to finding wisdom. I am a smart girl, but am I wise?

"i will bless the Lord at all times"

Psalm 34 is a psalm of praise and promise, for in it, King David exalts the name of the Almighty mentioning that "His praise shall continually be in my mouth." No matter what the circumstance, no matter the difficulty, my mouth should be filled with praises to my God who allows all things to happen for a reason.

But the psalmist has a different reason to praise, for her has been delivered from his fears. he has placed his entire trust in God, who listens to those who fear him.

this tells me a few things i can apply to my life. for one, the Lord will carry my fears, amazing! He has already beat them on cross, so what do i have to fear?

secondly, God will listen to me if i fear Him. this means i need to respect him and acknowledge his holiness in my life. i must be different; a light among the darkness. I must "depart from evil and do good" in order to be blessed. this means i must check my priorities.

my Lord will provide peace during the storms of life and fully bless me!

goals

mostly for myself, but as i sit here studying for finals, i've done some reflecting haha

-to write my own music

-be better about quiet times

-read, actively!

-sit and listen

-be ok with being by myself

-learn guitar

-learn drums

more to come...

noise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBRjrtA3Dqw

it's been years since i've seen this video, but for some reason, it seems more relevant in my life right now than ever before.

i'm known to surround myself with noise so i don't feel alone. but i shouldn't be afraid of that, nor should i subject myself to unneeded noise, because i could be missing out on words of wisdom from God. i could be preventing myself from hearing his voice.

one thought that struck me is that i spend waaaaaaaaaay more time talking about my problems and confusions than actually listening to God, being still, being silent. i need to spend my alone times ALONE, reflecting in silence, listening to my Lord.

dreamer

i have many dreams, but the hardest part to keep in mind is that they are MY dreams and not necessarily the plans that God has for my life. it's hard to come to terms with this reality, especially when it's so easy to get hurt. 

for now, i need to recognize that these are just dreams and not my reality. my only reality and the only truth that i know right now is that the only person i can trust in is my Lord. now, to really put this into practice...

let it be, let it be, that in the silence is when i hear your voice, when i see your plan for me. let it be that by being still, i am working my hardest and finding the most out about myself.

i should take my own advice

reading my last few posts has caused me to reflect and led me to wonder where my optimism has gone. why is it that i'm stressing out? why is it that i'm worrying about the future?

i haven't been fully trusting God in what i do and in everything, which is why this semester has been harder than most. i wish that i had made the change to give every burden that i have to the Lord so that he may carry it for me.

i don't understand what He is doing in my life and i am hurting. deeply. hurting more than i have in a good long time because i am confused, drained and thinking too much. but tonight, amidst the pain that i feel in my heart, God confirmed that i need to be still and let Him be. i always try to solve my own problems and this time, i can't. this time, i want it all, and i cannot have any of it. my heart is heavy but only God can take care of it. i need to use this time to be true to Him and to myself and to serve whole-heartedly and completely focused.

i want to write music. i really want to write my own song. i'm hoping that this hurt can be channeled in that direction and that i can write songs that could inspire people. Lord, use me and my gifts so that i may please you.