i know that i am deeply passionate about those closest and dearest to me. my father says that i remind him of Thomas because i give everything my all. but just as i give everything my all, when i'm disappointed, i am disappointed to a totality. it's hard for me to let go.
perhaps this is the area that God is trying to mold me in. ever heard the expression "Let Go and Let God?" well, i feel that God is trying to teach me just that. there are many things and people that i have to let go in order to FULLY trust my Lord. i am not in control of my own destiny. God has a wonderful plan in store for me, only if i let Him work in my life. i've seen Him take control of areas i once held but i know that there is still room to grow.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells us "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
there is no room for me to try to change this. i must be still and wait on the Lord, which is the hardest part of this process. this comes to me at a time where everything is uncertain for me and i am seeking guidance as to my future. what will i be doing next year? will i finish my thesis? what of my love life? where will i be serving?
i know that God will answer these questions, but it's so hard to sit still. the Lord defs has a sense of humor because he knows what bugs us the most and picks at it and works at it until we get over it. how wonderful is He!
right now, i want to feel my Heavenly Daddy wrap his hands around me and tell me that everything is going to be ok. i want his peace in my life. i don't want to wait around for something that isn't right but i want to look ahead with expectation and guard myself for God's plan. this is all that i can ask.
Lord, i don't have much. but all that i do, let me consecrate it for you.
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